Teaching at KinkFest 2011!

I am pleased to be teaching with Jim Duvall at KinkFest next March 18th through the 20th. We have new classes to offer: "Physics & Body Mechanics for Suspension Bondage" and "Triage for Pick-up Play".


KinkFest is one of my favourite bdsm events.Not only is much of the dungeon equipment Sophie-Proof, but it's close enough to Seattle to be affordable to travel there and far enough away that it feels like a vacation.

Below is info about their Early Bird rates. The FetLife event listing.

Don’t miss KinkFest 2011’s Early Bird special, now until January 15th. Register today at www.KinkFest.org.

PLA & reciprocal members, now is your time to snag a KinkFest 2011 registration for $50 off normal price. Not a member? Join now at www.portlandleather.org.

New this year:
· NEW VENUE! The Oregon Convention Center is Portland's First-Class, state-of-the-art conference space, with convenient light rail access to the airport and to downtown restaurants, shopping, nightclubs, and more.

· NEW HOTEL! Exclusive weekend access to the conference hotel with welcoming, kink-friendly management and staff. Enjoy comfortable rooms, free wi-fi, fitness center, and access to KinkFest activities in the clothing-optional Skyview Lounge and Roof-Top Terrace with panoramic views of downtown Portland and the West Hills!

· NEW DUNGEON! Get full time access to our well-equipped, 18,000+ square foot dungeon during conference hours... then stick around for Kinkfest's infamous Friday and Saturday night play parties! The dungeon will feature fantastic displays, incredible rigging set-ups for those bondage and suspension enthusiasts, one of the biggest collection of dungeon furniture on the West coast, awesome lighting and sound system, live performances and a live DJ at both play parties, gear storage area and more!

· MORE WORKSHOPS! KinkFest has practically doubled the number of top-notch presenters for this year and has a diversified and expanded selection of educational workshops featuring a variety of topics from some of the nation's best presenters on all 3 days.

Renowned presenters from across the nation include:
· Mollena Williams, International Ms Leather 2010
· Laura Antoniou, author of The Marketplace series
· Cleo Dubois of Cleo Dubois Academy of SM Arts
· Fakir Musafar, co-developer of modern body piercing techniques
· Lee Harrington, author and human sexuality educator
· And many more…

Dialog of the Week.

Him: Thanks for suspending me. That was quite a hoot.

Me: That was fun! I think I would prefer to stick with the resistance and wrestling scenes with you. You know, just introducing a little switchy energy rather than being the top. It didn't feel right topping you.

Him: Oh, don't worry. That won't happen very often.

Warm Winter Wishes

What a day! And it's not even halfway done!

This morning, I went downtown and gave out Christmas care packages and food to "those less fortunate" with Santa, Allena, Drew from Ballard Brothers,  and a few others. It was an interesting experience and quite powerful that a little bit of generosity goes a very long way in the world. We'll being doing it next year on Christmas Eve morning.If you want to join us, please let me know.

On the night of the solstice, Jim and I did a photo shoot for his holiday card. This is actually the product of two shoots. The plan was to do the shoot on a roof that had a fantastic view of the Space Needle. At the last minute, permission was withdrawn, due to the number of people electing to watch the lunar eclipse on the roof.

Plan B to the rescue in the form of Photoshop. Jim shot the view of the Needle and the moon and we relocated to another rooftop and shot me spinning fire. He was careful to take the photos of me so that I was in scale with the view he took photos of earlier so that the composition would be as true to life as possible. I am pretty pleased with the result. For as cold as I was, I am amazed that the image isn't blurry from my shivers!

Now, it's off to the thrift store to find a roasting pan so I can finish making apple butter. (Cross your fingers for me.) Then to make elk stroganoff  for xmas dinner with my made family.

Whatever you choose to celebrate, may you and your loved ones enjoy wealth, health and happiness.

Give the gift of Velvet

What would make for a more luxurious and sexy stocking stuffer than an indulgent weekend at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival?

The decadent Velvet Experience includes:

• Exclusive first opportunity to preview and purchase art from the exhibition
• Very limited sneak peek behind the scenes of the Festival on Thursday night
• VIP parking each day
• Express lane at all service areas (bar, Festival Store, and coat check)
• Personalized docent tour
• Unique gift bag, including a gift certificate to the Festival Store
• Two full passes to the entire Festival -- two fabulous nights and three exciting days of art exhibition, performances, and dancing
• Two full passes to the Festival Launch Party in April 2011*
• And more!

Extremely limited availability.
Secure your experience today!  

* The Launch party sold out last year. While we will be in a bigger venue in 2011, a Velvet Experience is a guarantee you will get in.

No, the other foot.

Last night was the one year anniversary of the fetish dress code party, Strict Machine, held at the Mercury. Jim and I were among the first performers when the party got its start. Due to breaks ups, we hadn't performed there in a while. We were honoured to be invited to perform again.



The Mercury has quite the low ceiling; about 9 feet high. There was much back and forth as to whether we should do aerial bondage work there or just stick with suspension bondage. Either would be dynamic, but the aerial bondage is much more fun and interesting. The decision is made to go with the aerial antics with plenty of passionate interactions so as to lengthen the performance. If we do nothing but the aerial work, I am barely good for 5 minutes, as it is a strenuous activity.
 
We get off to a good start, despite Jim having to warn people that they will get kicked if they don't steer clear. That's to be expected when doing any kind of ambient performance, especially being located on the dance floor. Our energy and excitement builds through the interactions and the first gentle throw. In our usual manner of drastically ramping up, the second throw has more oomph and I pop upside down. My left foot smacks into the support beam that holds our hardpoint, which causes me to spin in the opposite direction. I finish the spin out and when he catches me, I whisper that I whacked my foot, that it's bad but pretty sure no broken bones. Continue? Oh, hell, yes! And off we go again.
 
As I start to get tired, I can feel the pain increasing. The worry sets in, and I signal the wrap up. He gets me down and I hobble off to check my foot. I barely get my boot off and immediately regret that I'll have to put it back on. The lateral side and top of my foot were quite puffy already. A hasty exit and soon I am home with an ice pack on my foot and a hot pack on my thigh. (This is a great trick to bring down inflammation very fast.)



I have been icing on and off all day, and therefore doing quite well. This injury doesn't even warrant a picture. Except for the extreme pain when trying to push in the clutch of a standard transmission car, I can get around mostly pain free. (I didn't even try on the motorcycle boot.) I figure my foot is bruised, though hopefully not the bones themselves. Bone bruises take forever to heal. At least it wasn't the right foot, like the last 4 foot/ankle injuries.

Good day talking about art.

Today was the CSPC's vendor fair.  I set up a booth on behalf of the Foundation and sold swag and art from past Seattle Erotic art Festivals.

I ended up talking to a fair number of artists about submitting their work in January. It's amazing how narrow a definition some people have about what is erotic art. One young man was telling me about how his ceramic sculptures were only suggestive if you looked at them from a certain angle. He seemed a bit surprised when I expressed interest, as if there isn't any copulation in the art, it must not be erotic. If a piece of art has anything to do with sensuality, one's own sexuality, society's notions/attitudes around sex and sexuality or any of the emotional or spiritual ramifications of being a sexual being, then it's erotic art.

Any art that is erotically charged is erotic art. And that definition is highly subjective. (Which is the main reason why the Festival jury is different every year.) When a piece of art captures your interest and increases your vitality in any way, not just sexually, it is full of eros. The book The Gift: Imagination and the Erotic Life of Property (alternately with the subtitle: Creativity an the Artist in the Modern World) explores this idea that erotic energy is a life force energy that can be channeled into artistic endeavours.

If you are someone who creates art that is sexy or is inspired by your or other's sexuality, please consider submitting your art this January to the 2011 Seattle Erotic Art Festival.

A Must-Go show from the Jet City Improv peeps.

I am hoping to go Wing-I Productions' annual holiday show, Uncle Mike Ruin's Christmas after missing it last year.  I missed out on this run of improv hilarity and nastiness and was subjected to the "pooping out baby jesus" jokes that lasted weeks. And knowing this group, I am sure they would have been funny to me if I had seen the performance.

My dear friend Chris, an improv muscian, sent me this as a way of inticing me to attend:

This past Saturday was so over the top that the entire cast mimed masturbation as their final goodnight. I'm so proud. 

I don't know whether to be impressed with his perverse sense of pride or annoyed that he knows I am a sucker for anything having to do with masturbation. That said, I adore it when Jet City does an unscripted play. I thoroughly enjoyed "Lease" in 2008. The actor games that make up the run of the mill improv shows do nothing for me. Being witty is nice and all, but my attention span is a bit longer than a gnat's. But making the actors string it out into a fully fleshed-out and fucked up one hour length play? Now we're talking talent.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!  Remember to thank your loved ones for being in your life. They don't have to love you and the fact that they do is worthy of your gratitude.

Snow.

I promised myself that I wouldn't complain about how bad the winter was this year. Seattle had such an incredible autumn. The sun-filled afternoons that followed those often foggy mornings afforded me more sunbathing opportunities than most other years.


And I will keep that promise. I will not complain about the hard winter. I will complain about other things like scary drivers in the snow and how wrong it is that snow blew INTO my car through all the little crevices. There was SNOW INSIDE my car this morning. The Mean Man said that made perfect sense with how hard the wind was blowing last night. He went on to tell me how that was just like home, as in where he grew up in the Great White North.

Snow got inside my car and there were no windows open in the slightest.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?

I want you to make sexy art!

Call for Art!

Artists, get your creative engines turning! 
The Festival will be accepting submissions January 1-31, 2011, for the ninth annual event.

All artists age 18+ are encouraged to submit up to five (5) works of erotic art of any medium. Sculptors, multimedia artists and painters are particularly encouraged to apply. Submissions can be made online at SeattleErotic.org, throughout January.

The Festival is a jury-selected, erotic fine art exhibition and arts festival. A place where art that is rarely seen in mainstream galleries and museums can be celebrated, discussed and supported. An event where clichés of "sexiness" can be replaced with intriguing explorations of eroticism.

A different and new Festival jury is appointed every year, with careful consideration. To increase diversity of the selected art, the jury consists of an erotic artist, an art professional, an art collector, a sex positive activist, and a Festival committee member. Art is selected by a blind jury; jurors never know whose work they are reviewing during the process. Unknown and famous artists alike are given equal consideration and opportunity.

In order to show the work of successful and international artists who no longer choose to submit their work to juried shows, the Festival does include curated and invited artist sections as well, but the juried work has always represented the majority of art showcased at the Festival.

We stand by our mission to support a vibrant creative community, supporting living artists with low submission fees and commission rates. Selected art will be showcased throughout the three-day event to thousands of patrons. The Festival sells far more art than any other erotic art festival.

Artists may also choose to submit to the Festival Store, which has a later submission deadline (to be determined). Artists do not need to attend the Festival in order to participate.
Spread the word, and sign up for our newsletter to receive updates.

Do you love the Seattle Erotic Art Festival?

Hard at work.

We're already sketching exciting plans for 2011, crafting a fresh new event that will satisfy and surprise.

Join us! Give $25 and be a part of making this sexy event happen. Even $5 helps bring the Festival to life, so please give now, and spread the word to your friends. With your support we can take the Festival to new levels.

Let's create an amazing event together.

Donate!

*The Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, producer of the Festival, is tax exempt under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code, and gifts are **tax deductible** under Section 170(b)(1)(A)(vi) of the Code.*

I'd like to invite you to a fundraiser for the Center and Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, Thursday, November 18th at 7:00pm, at the Little Red Studio in Seattle. There will be enticing auction items, give-a-ways, and other fun and frivolity. Tickets are available at TicketLeap. You can also see the growing list of auction items on the Center's website.

Flagging

In gay, leather & SM communities, coloured hankies are used as a signaling code for finding partners to engage in sexual activities. (Yes, I am including SM in the umbrella of sexual.)

I flag grey left to signify I am a bondage top.  There are a lot of other things I am into and tying people up isn't even the activity I do most often. However, it is a part of me that is central to my sexual identity. When my car was prowled 2 years ago and my rope bag was stolen, my initial reaction was that my sexuality had been stolen. "How will I ever come again?" Reason swiftly told me that was a bit more dramatic than the situation called for, and I was left with having to mourn all the firsts that I lost along with that bag. That experience taught me that this was a large part of my identity even though I bottom in my primary relationship.

Now, for Xmas last year, I did get a green hankie in my stocking, so I will occasionally put that hankie in my right pocket to signify I have a daddy. Occasionally,I will flag both grey and green. I think 2 hankies is plenty at one time, and may even be a bit too much advertising. Boiling your interests/identity down to one or two is not reductionism: it's focusing what you are advertising. Having more than 2 hankies in your drawer is fine; choosing the corresponding hankie to wear for the planned activities for a date or a play party is a great way to get into a specific head space. Wearing 3 or 4 hankies at one time may lead people to believe you are greedy or undecided. If you don't mind those perceptions arising in others, then, go for it.

I do know someone who has a hankie with 4 different coloured corners and he folds it so that all for corners stick out of his back pocket. I find that charming, if perhaps an overly specific partner/play request that may keep him from hooking up with fabulous people who may not be into all four of those things. I also think it looks much more tasteful than having the bulk and riotous colour that results from having multiple hankies hanging out your pocket.

When choosing which hankie you plan to flag with, decide whether you are flagging your identity or your preferences to attract partners. If I identify as a bondage top, but I am going to a play party looking to get tied up, I will be sure to have that grey hankie hanging out of my right pocket. Generally, I flag my identity rather than what I may be searching for in the realm of play or relationships. I fold the hankie so that two or so inches peek out of my back pocket. When I am on the prowl for play, I will fold the hankie fewer times so that a good portion hangs down out of my pocket in an effort to get more people to notice what my role in play is.

Be aware, the big, long "hanky code" list that can be found online started as an April Fool's Day joke.  Historically, the hankie code was a smaller number of coulours and what the colours meant varied from region to region. Take it with a grain of salt and have fun with it.

Coming out.

 I am convinced to be a happy and whole person, one must embrace their sexuality. Most of my daily life is spent inside the "love bubble", that wondrous place where all your friends are sex positive and accepting of all your kinks. I am contemplating coming all the way out of the closet.

What keeps me from doing that? Having to say this: "Hey Gramma, you know those anatomy classes I teach? Well, I'm teaching people how to tie each other up and hit each other in a more effectively & safely."

I don't think that's going to go over well.

Vote!

I take voting very seriously. As a citizen of a country that has a democratic government system, I believe it is a responsibility as well as a right to participate by voting. One of my parents was a British subject; hence, no voting for him. I have no memories of elections being a big deal in our household, or hearing my parents talk about who they were going to vote for during my childhood. Maybe that is why I was so curious about the process and hungry to take my place at the polls.

When I was 17 and a half, I set out to learn about politics in preparation for voting, as the month after I turned 18 was a presidential election. I found a tape called I Blow Minds for a Living with Jello Biafra's ranting about monkey wrenching the system while at the same time fulfilling one's civic duty by voting. After listening to him, I decided to register as a independent rather than proclaim a political party. I became diligent about researching candidates, initiatives and propositions so that I could make an informed decision based on my ethics and ideals.

I loved pouring over my voter's pamphlet, making notes of my opinions, crossing things out and circling other things so that when I went to the polls I was prepared. This was a sacred rite in which I eagerly participated. Going to the polling station was truly satisfying; especially when it was located in a school. For some reason, voting in a church was much less satisfying. I guess I take the concept of separating church and state too literally.

I understand the reasons for having a mail in system, but I do miss going to the polls. Last year, I saved voting for the first Tuesday in November; taking my ballot to the drop off station rather than mailing it in. I was doing my best to maintain that polling ritual. This year, I am accepting the fact that I will be mailing in my ballot. I have been reading my pamphlet and searching on the interweb in between working, marking my votes as I go. Voting while all bundled up in bed is quite nice. I think this soften the disappointment of not going to the polls.

Remember to get your ballots in the mail or to a drop off point by Tuesday November 2nd. Enjoy your responsibility!

Fire Connection

I started spinning staff again. Practicing to polish my skills and pushing myself farther. Making new contacts in the fire community where I can and envisioning where I want to go with this activity. I want to make art. I want to perform with fire again.

YouTube is great for generating ideas and finding heroes. Contact work has captured my attention and this video gave me a goal to work toward:

Endorsement of the week.

Fact: I have long curly hair. And finding someone who can give a haircut that still looks good a month later, or even the next week, is difficult.

About six years ago, my beloved "hair artist" left Seattle for Chicago. Since then, I have suffered through some less than stellar haircuts. One day in desperation, I cut my own hairs in a spring time ritual. After the lack of dire results, and because I didn't have anyone who would take me to task for doing it myself, it became a yearly tradition.

And then I met Eric, the master of long curly hair. After the 4th friend recommended that I go to the Robert Leonard Salon and ask for Eric, I figured I should. I am immensely pleased with the results.  A month later, I shake out my hair from a ponytail or when I crawl out of bed and it still looks fabulous!

A fan-tastic weekend!

This weekend, the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture is hosting two authors I greatly admire.

Deborah Sundahl wrote Female Ejaculation and the G-spot which is an incredible book that walks a woman through the whys, whats and hows of ejaculating during orgasm. Complete with anatomy references and drawing to make anyone drool, this book is a must have for anyone who has anything to do with a vulva.

Deborah's class "The Feminine Fountain: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot" is being held at the CSPC on Friday, Oct. 22 at 8pm. This class is open to all genders. I have heard her speak in the past and am very excited to have the chance to attend a class!


At the other end of the weekend, if you liked Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality you will want to be at the CSPC for An Intimate Evening with Author Christopher Ryan. With all the fascinating conversations this book as inspired among my community, I am quite curious.

I get to teach in Victoria!

The first weekend of November, the 5th-7th, I will be at Sagacity of Victoria's Annual Birthday Bash & Kink Conference.  "Head Games: Anatomy for Edge Play with the Head & Neck" and "Anatomy for Bondage" are the two classes I will be presenting on Saturday.

What does this mean? It means that I will officially be an international presenter. More exciting than that is the fact that I will get to use my new passport. I'll be taking the Clipper ferry over to Victoria, both firsts for me, with my lovely comrade presenter, Allena Gabosch, and Jim Duvall as my traveling companion.

If you don't have plans for that weekend, do consider taking a mini-vacation. The people I have talked to who have attended past Sagacity Bashes gave good reviews about how much fun they have had. I am hoping to get in a little sightseeing while I am in Vitoria, too. Check out the FetLife event page to see who else is going.

Look, Ma, no phobia! (Pt. 2)

  

I found myself intrigued by my reaction. I became convinced that the art of fire dancing held the key to me overcoming my phobia. Within a few months I had found a mentor and began the process of learning to be a fire performer and a “safety” for other performers. I became proficient. But I didn’t erase the phobia; I learned how to disassociate enough so I could function safely with the fire. I didn’t feel the joy of spinning that so many talked about. I certainly didn’t love the sound of the fire roaring around me as it fought the wind resistance generated by spinning. What I felt was a sense of accomplishment and strength. I was proud that I had worked through my fear enough to be able to hold two fans, each with 5 wicks, or a 5 foot long staff with flaming ends. But I was also tense and focused and hypersensitive to whatever I perceived as the slightest lapse in safety.

1st fire dance- Photo by G. Siano, 2006

When I was deemed ready to “light up” I was nervous, to say the least. Focusing on the safety protocols and preparations helped keep me from flying into a panic at what I was about to do. The the amount of will power required to continue after the completion of each step in the process to light up steadily increased. I felt like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel by the time my mentor stood in front of me with the lighter asking if I was ready. With a nod yes and the proffered end of my staff, it started.

From that point on, I regularly performed with fire for  about 2 years. It got easier, though only to a point. I refused to learn to fire eating or breathing. While I didnt' refuse, I did avoid doing any contact work, even doing fire contact on another was difficult. Eventually, my performance partner convinced me to feed him fire as part of a sexy dessert skit for the Little Red Studio. The first time we did the rehearsal with fire, I just about threw up from the anxiety. I preferred to stick with using my fans, as then at least I could feel like I had full control over the movement of the fire. Spinning the staff was harder; the momentum made for more possibility to lose control of the fire.

Eventually, I came to the conclusion that performing with fore wasn't  reducing the scope of my phobia. Nothing had changed in my relationship to fire outside of performing. And even then, I wasn't overcoming the fear, I was just managing it when I performed. So, I stopped spinning. I still kept my tools, as they were all custom made for me, and one of them by me. In the back of my head, I thought I would try again in the future.

Enter hypnosis. Jim is, among all his other talents, a certified hypnotherapist. Using hypnosis as a tool for resolving phobias is a fairly common thing and there are a number of different approaches to choose from based on the circumstances at hand. Regression was a good tool once we realized that we had to do it repeatedly in order to pull off the layers. Parts therapy ground the process to a halt, but was still illuminating. There was about a month with hard emotional work of processing and integrating everything I learned about where the phobia came from.


Last weekend, Jim & I did a photo shoot we have been talking about for years. He has wanted to learn how to photograph fire performances, which takes a fair amount of practice. I was finally eager to spin for him, rather than just willing to help out. While we didn't get any art out of the shoot, I discovered that I truly had worked through the phobia: I felt joy, giggling bubbling up to the surface, as I worked the fire around me. The huge grin captured in the photos said it all.

Jim pointed out to me that he had never seen that look on my face before when I performed with fire. He said I always looked nervous and tense. And not just in the pre-show jitters kind of way. More like I was using every ounce of self control to not throw the fire tool as far away from me as possible. Looking back through all the photos I have of me performing, I see he is right; even in the photos where I am smiling, it's pasted on, lacking any joy in my eyes.

 Now, I go forward. I want to increase my skill set to include contact staff. All the work I currently admire and skills I envy are in that arena. It means getting closer to the fire, and I am excited that I can start practicing without panic attacks.

Look, Ma, no Phobia! (Pt. 1)

As a child, I lived through numerous experiences where I was scared by fire and explosions. A phobia developed around being burned or fire going out of control. I had a lot of shame wrapped up in being scared of fire. I felt it was a failing that I was irrationally scared of something, that while dangerous, was normally controlled and so useful. People would tell me it was an understandable fear, and then be shocked to find out that pulling something out of the oven would take me to to the point of panic or that I was incapable of making barbecue.



I managed quite nicely in avoiding pushing against the phobia too often. When camping, I would stand with my back to the inevitable fire, being only near enough to keep myself warm. Occasionally, I would I find myself lamenting that I had to rely on others to make me barbecue.  I managed to survive living two years in a house with a fireplace without having a nervous breakdown. Finding the condo with a gas fireplace turned out to be a great compromise between my fear and my then partner's love of having a fireplace in the home. I would always end up stressed out, often crying, on the Fourth of July; hating the family nature of the day that made my presence a requirement.



In the fall of 2000, during a First Thursday ArtWalk, I saw my first fire performance with my dear friend Ken. The woman was spinning poi (basically flaming balls on the ends of chain) and dancing around. Ken was enraptured and I was uncomfortable, even from our vantage point over 100 feet away. As she neared the end of her burn time, she knelt down and arched backward, spinning the poi in front of her body, arms outstretched and close together so that the fire looked to be tickling at her torso. As my panic rose, she stopped spinning and trailed the poi up her body and licked at the flame. I lost all semblance of control, spinning around, burst into tears and speed-walked away from the sight.



Ken dove head long into the fire arts. He learned in any how to spin staff, wield flaming whips and swords, among many other tools. He would kindly not mention details of what he was doing out of respect for my distress over the subject. 4 years later, he emailed me a video link saying that he was immensely pleased with himself and that while he knew I wasn't into it, he wanted to show me what he was doing. The video was him dancing with a woman while he was spinning a fire staff and she was dancing with fire bowls. And I found myself being turned on. By the beauty, by the artistry, by the chemistry between them. I immediately called him. "I can't believe that you just turned me on with fire!" 

Fears

I fear recrimination from women in regards to my sexuality.

It's a lingering thing.  When I was a teenager, when sex was new and we all were trying to figure it out, I picked up a lot about people's attitudes regarding sex from how they reacted to tales of certain acts. Invariably, in my group of friends in my conservative small city, the girls reacted with scorn and disgust to anything kinky while the boys evinced awe and envy. One instance that stands out in my memory was when I was almost 17. I was going to junior college and had met a young woman who was 23 and had traveled to Europe, which meant she was far more sophisticated than me, right? She told me a story about a friend of hers who had bragged about how she could fit a guy's whole hand in her pussy. I remember being amazed and impressed while listening to the story. Then confused when my friend said it wasn't anything to be proud of. The finality of her pronouncement kept me from asking why not. The disdain was so clear that I certainly didn't want any of that emotion directed at me for thinking such an act was cool sounding.

Of course, years later, when I allowed myself to be fisted, I was unsurprised to discover that it was as cool as I thought it would be. And, of course, I didn't tell any of my female friends that I had tried it. (This was before I found the kinky community.)

Some of the hardest things for me to endure are scenes with sexual components in "mixed company".  I worry that people will treat me different or like me less if they see what gets me off. With men, I worry they will think I will do that act with anyone, including them. With women, I worry about their perception of me as less than worthy. I have great admiration for women who play sexually in public play spaces. They must be especially secure and strong in their sense of self to do intimate acts where others can view and I want to be like them.

I'll continue with fisting as my example.


Once upon a time, the Mean Man kept threatening me with sex acts in semi-public settings. He enjoyed the fear & panic that played across my features, as well as other physical responses. For months, there was only talk. This resulted in complacence that he was only engaging in a mindfuck. Until one night, "Put on a short skirt and we'll go to the club tonight." At the time, I didn't think anything of his directive other than that he liked to see me wear short skirts. In retrospect, I should have seen what was coming. When he told me to get a glove & some lube from the safer sex supplies station, I knew what he had in mind: fisting me in public. 


I was mortified. It was the Thursday Grind; one of the busiest parties of the week because of the new member orientation that happens before it, not to mention the great dance music. He tied me in a chest harness that secured my hands behind my back and thrust my breasts forward. As an added sensation and a visible cue that I was indeed playing and not to be talked to, nipple clamps, connected by a shiny silver chain. He positioned me standing next to a large, low chair that just happened to be next to the water cooler, in that grey zone between the social area and the play area. After instructing me to spread my legs, he pulled my panties down to my knees and encouraged me to keep my legs spread so that my panties didn't fall down any further. 


He calmly sat down in the chair, put on the glove and ran his hand up my leg until he found my cunt. I was wet from the fear & the control he had: he could make me do something I was so scared of that I would never have even thought to ask for it. And "it" was horrible. And hot and, yes, I got really close to orgasm. Apparently, others thought it was hot, too. People started drinking a lot of water when they realized that his hand was disappearing up my skirt. Repeatedly refilling their Dixie cups in order to politely get a closer look at what was going on. 


Afterward, I clung to the Mean Man, still feeling vulnerable and wanting his protection; scared to interact with anyone for fear of recrimination or ridicule. Walking around, with me practically hugging him from behind, he chatted with friends and I avoided eye contact or speaking to anyone. One of his dear friends, a beautiful woman whom I loved to watch dance, sashayed off the dance floor toward us. I buried my face in his shoulder while they traded pleasantries. I vaguely heard him mention something about still being in aftercare mode and soon she began grinding her magnificent ass into mine. Shock turned to pleasure as we spent a minute or two pressing and rubbing into each other. She gave me a little hug and sashayed on her way. Feeling dazed but smiling, I found myself grounded and comfortable again.


That was exactly what I needed: validation and acceptance from a woman. I don't have the fear as strong as I did before that experience. It's still there, dormant, flaring up when I hear a woman commenting on another woman's sexuality in a disparaging way. I have made it a personal crusade of gently challenging those disparaging remarks in the hopes of changing the narrow societal mores that say women shouldn't be "too overtly sexual".


 

 

I'm a Kinsey 2.695

Kinsey Scale tee-shirts! The Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Scale was devised by Alfred Kinsey & his co-researchers, Clyde Martin & Wardell Pomeroy to reflect the gradations found in the vast majority of the sexual histories they received in the 1940s & 1950s.

Just think, with these shirts, you could avoid putting the moves on someone with the "wrong" orientation. Those situations can not only be embarrassing, but also downright heart breaking.

I like the Kinsey Scale because it allows for movement. The concept that your position on the scale varies throughout your life respects that humans are not static creatures and that our sexuality is a malleable thing.

You may ask how I get such a convoluted number out of a such a simple scale. Well, here are all the factors I took into account when coming up with my number

• ratio of men to women sexual partners
• ratio of long term relationships with women to men
• who I fantasize about when I masturbate
• who catches my fancy walking down the street (random visual stimuli)
• who I idly fantasize about

Ultimately, I think these types of labels work great as conversation starters, rather than conversation enders.

Good grief, Charlie Brown.

My god-mother died and it was over a week before I found out. Turns out that her son have moved her up to Seattle earlier this year. I didn't know that either. I would have liked the chance to have seen her and attend her funeral.

There is a lot of anger and fussing going on in my head but nothing changes the fact that my Gramma Dorthy is gone and I am sad and miss her.

A dear friend directed me to a writing of her's regarding grief. It is truly beautiful. It reminded me that grief is what we call it when we have experienced love.

Shoes!

Three people have sent me the link to Shoe Dazzle. Any one have any experience with this company? Do you like the shoes they pick out for you? What is the quality of the shoes? Are they brand names, off brands or knock-offs?

I adore sexy shoes, but I am quite particular.

PrideFoundation's Raffle with a Twist

 

Pride Foundation is giving away $2,500 to a favorite nonprofit organization. Enter their FREE annual online Raffle with a Twist and please vote for the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture as your favourite nonprofit.

 

Raffle with A Twist is the Pride Foundation's chance to hear from you which organizations you care most about. One randomly drawn entry will win $2,500 - plus we'll give $1,000 to the most named organization in each of our funding states (Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon and Washington). And, you'll receive a Pride Foundation Swag Bag.

 

It is easy and only takes a minute, so enter today at PrideFoundation.org.

Please pass this on, far and wide.

Please only one entry per person per email address. The winning organizations need to have a nondiscrimination policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity and/or expression. Entry deadline is October 31, 2010.  Full rules and details at PrideFoundation.org.

Checking in.

I survived Paradise and promptly came down with a sickness upon re-entry, hence the lack of posting. At least Twitter doesn't take much energy; I've managed to partially keep up there.

I have many stories to share, but I am still low energy so here is a list with links, as available.

• Doing a sneaky ninja scene with PopeBacon, that ended up not being so sneaky, dressed only in a ninja-style headscarf, black undies & ninja socks.
• Wrassled in the pool with GrayDancer. I tapped out but he ended up with a sore shoulder and a kick to the chest. The Mean Man encourage him to take comfort in the fact that if he was hurt when playing with me, it meant he was the top.
• Lots of interesting new connections and continuing traditions tweeted best by the Mean Man: "First dates, second dates, dates within dates and dates stuffed with Brie all at once at #paradiseunbound"
• All my classes turned out great! Felt like we hit a home run with "Going Beyond Verbal Communication". It ended up being a constant reference point during the week of Paradise. I feel proud that people found being made aware of body language valuable.
• Bought my first canes from RopeSparrow. In all honesty, the rich purple colour was the motivating factor. I ended up using them for the first time on her Master during our yearly play date at Paradise. Not having any detailed training on how to cane someone, I felt a little out of my skill set so I resorted to just poking him, punctuating each poke with commentary. "Poke! Poke! Poke!"

Paradise starts today!

Tonight, after the opening ceremony, Jim Duvall & I will be teaching a workshop to kick off Paradise Unbound. In the past, this workshop has been free, as a gift for those attending the opening ceremony and a teaser to get people to come back for more.

We will be teaching "Going Beyond Verbal Communication" where we will focus on interpreting postures, facial expressions and mannerisms. This class will help you reduce the number of "Are you ok's" out of your play, allowing you to maintain the energy of your scene.

We have been having a great time researching this class. The two books I have gotten the most out of are The Definitive Book of Body Language and The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter. I must admit, I enjoyed and appreciated the former much more. The writing was light hearted with great summaries at the end of each chapter. The Reiman book was a bit over powering. Even the title was a bit much for me, as the book honestly focuses on manipulating your body language with specific goals in mind. Not that manipulation is always bad, it's just written in a sales & marketing & pep talk jargon sort of way that seems- false, for lack of a better word.

Seattle Erotic Art Festival seeks web designers

Seattle Erotic Art Festival has immediate need for qualified volunteers to fill positions on our online team: online service directors, web developers and web designers, please contact us. We have ambitious and exciting plans to redesign and relaunch the website for 2011.

Qualified applicants should be well versed in modern web technologies, have strong examples of previous web work, and be excited about working within a larger marketing team. Please send letters of interest to info@seattleerotic.org.

Learn more and view the official call here.

New bike home safe & sound!

What a lovely evening for the inaugural ride of Baby Blue. Baby is a 2000 Suzuki SV650 and she is all mine!

After a long day at work that left me exhausted and apathetic, riding was the perfect remedy. A remedy I have been without for far too long. I have gone without riding for 2 months at a stretch, but those times were of my choosing. With the Ninja stolen and wrecked right at the beginning of summer, every beautiful day has been a painful reminder that there were certain pleasures that were not available to me.

That's all behind me now. Baby is a sweet, nimble ride. When my friends were telling me they had the SV for sale, I tried to blow off the offer. Domenico made such a big deal about this being a perfect bike for me; I felt obligated to at least give it a sit and test ride.

The man knows his bikes, and he know me. I should have never doubted as this is indeed a perfect bike for me. Traitorous feelings arise in me when I think of how I might just like Baby better than my old Ninja. I do still miss the Ninja (I have enshrined it's license plan & the Ninja Devil Ducky that TFMK(tm) gave me and I mounted on the tail fairing) but I am no longer pining for it.

The Best corset Maker.

Whenever I where my corset made by Jack of One Wilde Knight, I get the most wonderful compliments. Jack really does the most amazing job I have ever seen when it comes to custom corsets. Each article of clothing he makes is a true to era replication.  I am convinced that, along with his supreme skills are why his corsets are so beloved.

I just found out that Jack has relocated to Seattle! If you have a desire to own a custom made corset, give him an email or a call. Even his "off the rack" corsets are head and shoulders above anyone else's off the rack styles. He has reasonable rates for alterations and the fitting sessions are a joy! There is truly something special about a charming "dirty old fellow" fussing over you and making sure you look divine.

End of summer classes.

 This has been a great summer for teaching, and I am ready to wrap up this season by heading out to Paradise Unbound August 31st though September 6th. Well, in all honesty, my day job is going to keep me from being out there all week long. Good thing that it's a quick drive to get there so I can fit in a few day trips before I settle in for the long weekend. I am very pleased to announce that I will be teaching 3 different classes over the course of the week.

On Tuesday, 8/31, at 8pm following the opening ceremony, Jim Duvall and I will give our "Beyond Verbal Communication" class. This class focuses on broadening your communication skills to include reading postures, facial expressions and mannerisms.

On Friday, 9/3, starting at 1pm, I will guide you through Stretching and Conditioning for Bondage. This is a hands on style class with only a little bit of lecture. Make sure to wear loose clothing for easy movement. If the weather is nice enough, we'll stretch and learn in the sun. Last year I taught in the stone circle and I am praying for sun so I can do that again.

On Sunday, 9/5, at 1pm, Jim and I will team up again for "Bondage for Sadists & Masochists". This is light on lecture and heavy on demo. Definitely not to be missed if you want to learn more or new ideas on how to use rope to be mean.

As a side note, earlier that same day, at 10am, Jim will be presenting "Relating to Rope" which focuses on (re)discovering your personal relationship with rope. This is an incredible class that bears repeating, as our kink and interests change over time.

Toe update!

Healing is commencing at a satisfactory pace.

I have been a bit nervous about giving a report on my toe. Seems like every time someone asks me how it's healing I say "great!" and then later that day smack it on something, causing it to swell and ache for a day or two.

I wore high heels when I went to see "My Time with the Lady". That worked ok for the first half hour. After that, it was increasingly uncomfortable. Even sitting down, if my foot was on the floor, the position that the shoe dictated was still putting pressure on the littlest toe.

This reminds me that I haven't given my review of "My Time with the Lady". The short version is that I highly recommend it. I found it to be a beautiful testament of how essential a vibrant sex life for humans to be whole & happy. I was pleased that masturbation was being put forth as a valid way to express one's sexuality.  I am quite partial to Ron, the co-writer and actor, so I thought I should give some non-biased reviews. The Seattle PI did a write up as did the Seattle Weekly, complete with horrible puns. The Everett Herald even wrote up a nice review. Go, Everett!

You can still buy tickets online or at the Little Red Studio box office (400 Dexter Ave. N.) when the doors open at 7:30pm on Thursday the 26th, Saturday the 28th and Sunday the 29th. This is the last weekend of this play's run.

Quote of the Day

"I didn't like that. Why are my panties wet?"


(I guess this is more like  the quote of the week. I won't be calling it that as that would imply I was keeping score.)

Wow- just, wow.

Check out this Wired article on Mallakhamb, an Indian martial art that combines gymnastics with aerial work on a pole. Truly awe inspiring, and admittedly a bit nerve wracking.

More chatting with Dr. Dick

My second visit to Dr. Dick's Sex Advice pod cast is live and ready for a listen. In this segment we ended up talking a lot about art, porn, performing, modeling and orgasms!

Part 1 can be heard here. There is one mention in the second part to the first pod cast, so you may want to give part 1 a listen first if you haven't already heard it.

A big thank you to Dr. Dick for inviting me to be on his pod cast and for being a lovely host and charming interviewer!

Shenanigan Report!

Last Saturday, TwistedMonk and I had a blast playing around with shape-making during a suspension. He did a fabulous write up on his blog with a few photos. That afternoon while putting up the rigging for his big party at the Little Red Studio, he told me of his crazy plan.

"So, do you have anyone in mind to do that with?"

"I'm looking at her."

"I'm in!"

That was all of our planning. Maybe we will workshop it into something more performance like. That was a great spectacle for his guests, and a complete blast, but not polished or smooth. There is much to be said for jumping in and just seeing what happens.

I'm excited to see the rest of the photos. Big thanks to Malixe for the photography and permission to post!

Quote of the Day

"Before you say anything else, you need to know that Sophia & I go way back. I will always have her back, even if I was pretty sure she was wrong. I would help her hide the body. I would help her hide your body. Just so you know, so you avoid saying anything you might want to take back later."

New Earworm

I have had this song stuck in my head since it was sent to me last week. If you haven't heard it already, you must to check out "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury".  I am a huge sci-fi fan so this tickles my fancy just perfectly!

Not safe for work, but mostly due to the repeated use of the word fuck. While there is lots of cleavage to enjoy, no full nudity.

Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury	UCBcomedy.com
Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

After party reporting.

Last night I went to and 80s prom themed party in honour of TwistedMonk's business and birth anniversary. My dear PopeBacon and I decided that punk was where it was at.

While we were prepping for the evening's shenanigans, a flossing mishap left me with a mouthful of blood. I asked him if it would be in character to have blood on my shirt. He gave me the thumbs up which turned into a whoop of delight when I spit the blood out so it ran down my shirt front.

Since the Mean Man is out of town teaching a workshop, I made sure to keep him up to date, including photos.

Another play!

My time with the Lady. Performances run Thurs 8/19-Sat 8/21, Thu 8/26, Sat 8/28, Sun 8/29, and all performances start at 8 pm.

A dear friend of mine has co-written and stars in an autobiographical play about his time working at the Seattle Lusty Lady. The Lusty lady was the first "strip club" I ever went to and it was an exhilarating experience. The rush of adrenaline that accompanied the act of shrugging off societies mores. The sheer naughty factor was always so yummy. Whenever I had business to attend to downtown, I would go into the Lady and pop a quarter in the slot, eager for the window to raise so I could see the beauties moving and dancing in their mirrored room. 25 cents gave me a glimpse that hovered in the back of my mind all day.

I miss the Lusty Lady.

I am very excited that this play will be opening next week. I already have a date and a ticket for the opening show on August 19th. Hope to see you there!

Dr. Dick's Podcast

Today is the day that my interview with Dr. Dick is broadcast!

This was so much fun and would gladly do it again. It is very interesting hearing myself chatter on. Hope you all enjoy listening in on our chat.

Volunteer at ParadiseUnbound 2010

ParadiseUnbound is a wonderful event that the Foundation for sex Positive Culture puts on each year to celebrate sexuality. There are workshops that focus on skills that benefit your relationships, your play and sexuality; opportunities for relaxation, camping and play abound with nightly entertainment. Paradise would not be possible if not for the time and efforts of our volunteers.

Volunteer opportunities during the week include working at: Registration, in the Kitchen, Hospitality, Information, Entertainment Set-Up, as well as help with set up and tear down before and after Paradise.

In addition to providing an important service that keeps the cost of Paradise reasonable and builds community, volunteers also receive a $10 per hour discount on registration, up to $20 a day and up to $100 for the week.

Please email our Paradise Volunteer Coordinator:

•  For a complete description of volunteer positions available for Paradise
•  If you would like to be a part of the set up crew or tear down crew for Paradise 
•  If you are planning on coming early or staying late as a volunteer

Please do not show up expecting to be a part of set up without notifying our Volunteer Coordinator.

To sign up to be a volunteer just make a note on your registration or email the Paradise Volunteer Coordinator

To volunteer for Security at Paradise please email our Paradise Security Lead.

Survived!

The run up to this class has been exhausting. I was so glad to finally be there, standing in front of a room full of people curious about genital anatomy with a completed lesson plan in my hands. And it went well. There were great questions and only a little bit of technical difficulties.

I am grateful for everyone who showed up and were a part of the class. I love teaching and sharing information; today was a fine example of information exchange!.

Now that 's finished, I can get back to shenanigans.

Genital Anatomy Class - 8/8 2-4pm

Join me this Sunday for a fun filled 2 hours exploring the physiology of our fun bits!

You can read more on the Center for Sex Positive Culture's website. See who else is going by visiting the FetLife event page.

If you have any questions about the class, feel free to send me a message.

Not again!

*grumble grouse grumble*

Last night, after a lovely R&D scene with a bendy beauty, I stubbed my baby toe on the mats that I had used to be safe. Yes, the same toe I broke last month. This incident hurt just as much, if not a smidge more than the first injury.

I still don't want to go to a clinic. I don't have a regular doctor in Seattle and it's not terribly convenient to go to the last GP I had. Going into to urgent care clinics or the walk-in clinic has been very hit and miss. Sometimes I get taken care of beautifully, and other times I am shuttled through and my questions brushed off.  The brush offs are particularly disheartening. I consider my health to be of supreme importance and to have a professional not answer my questions with detail limits my ability to heal. I know that's silly that only a few medical professionals have given me a bad taste in my mouth about the whole of western emergency medicine.

More art.

I was so excited to be helping with the coppertone puppy shoot I completely forgot to post about a shoot I modeled in with Jim Duvall. This was also an idea that had been gestating for a while. It started as mutually applied clay body mask with contact improv dance added in. That obviously needed to be a performance rather than just something we did for fun by ourselves. While performing, someone snapped a few photos that made us want something more professionally done. This whole process took over 2 years!

I am very pleased to offer you version one of this shoot. We are already thinking of how we want to tweak the application of the clay and the dance moves/poses that worked well for the next shoot.


2010-2214 by *JimDuvall on deviantART

Another chance to buy SEAF art!

This Saturday, July 31st, the Center for Sex Positive Culture is having a Vendor Fair. The CSPC is where the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture hosts the majority of it's events, except for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival due to the sheer size of the event.

SEAF is going to have a booth at the Vendor Fair and I will be there selling SEAF shirts, posters & catalogs as well as with a smattering of art from 2010 and previous years' exhibition. Art prices are negotiable, so don't be shy about making an offer. Come by, buy some art or that t-shirt you didn't get a chance to pick up at the Festival and visit me.

There will be lots of other fun vendors there, as well. Jim Duvall will have a booth with his art for sale, including both large and small pieces. Kinky Medical will be in attendance with their naughty wares.  Come visit Kinky Caesura, owned by Sparrow, and check out her hand crafted Rattan Canes in variety of lengths and colors.

The 'Back to School' Vendor Fair

What:

Socialize and shop at our free vendor fair

Schedule:

Saturday, July 31, 2010

When:

11:00 AM to 5:00 PM

Where:

1602 15th Ave W Seattle, WA map

Who:

18+.

Cost:

$3 to $5 Suggested donation at the door but not required for admission. CSPC membership NOT required to attend.

Quote of the Day

"You know when you are talking to someone and you can tell they aren't listening to you? Of course you do- you're in a relationship with me. So, anyway, you know what I'm talking about..." 

Yay for art!

Whenever I get the chance to assist with a photo shoot, I jump.  I love being on the backside of producing an image and I find doing prep or make-up or being an extra set of hands to the artist is immensely satisfying. Often more satisfying than modeling.

Last night I helped Jim Duvall with an image he has wanted to do for years.  I was in charge of painting the "puppy" and making sure the girl had a tan and a tan line. It's a pretty damn good job to have!

2010-2331 by *JimDuvall on deviantART

The puppy play fetish fascinates me, now. Before hand, my reaction to it on an intellectual level is neutral. I was unprepared for my reaction to the reality of it. I suddenly felt like a little kid with an impulse to pet and play with the "puppy".

When Jim declared the shoot a success, he asked if Alex wanted any shots as a puppy before cleaning up. After a few shots, I burst out "Can I have my picture taken with the puppy, too?" They indulged my request and I have the goofiest grin while petting this painted, hooded human pretending to be a puppy. It was delightfully freeing to sink into that headspace of petting and cooing over a puppy that was happy for attention, leaning into me, returning my affection just the way a dog would. It was really cool. I get it.

A Summer Public Service Announcement:

Alexa Ara and her whimsical and practical Beginner's Guide to Romp & Tromping.

I'm a grown up!

My first grey hair!

No one I have shown this to in person has been excite or interested. This is a right of passage! This marks the beginning of a new period of my life. At least I have always assumed that going grey would mean something.

I associate grey hair with mature individuals who are responsible and distinguished. I'm definitely responsible. Distinguished is fairly open ended in my case. One can have many different things about them that are distinguished, right?

Oh I give up. Grey hair is hot! I don't need any other reason than that to be excited.

More theater!

When a dear friend of mine put out the call for an audience for the final dress rehearsal of Pageant Play, I figured why not help out a friend. When you have been working on a piece of theater, you get to a point when you need a fresh audience to test out timing. Also, Kerry promised me it would be funny.

And she was right. Oh my! We laughed so hard and about a variety of things. There were a lot of gags and lines that I both laughed and cringed at simultaneously. I mean, let's face it, child beauty pageants are both horrific and hilarious; the production did the subject matter justice. I absolutely loved it!

The acting was superb! Normally, you get to dress rehearsals there is the idea that everyone is still settling in. Not this cast. Each one gave clean deliveries and were entrenched in their characters. Both men play dual roles, a pageant coach and a husband. At the end of the play, there is a section where all the characters are running through a large house and these two guys are running by as "Bobby" and then as a husband with literally 30 seconds in between. The characters were so well differentiated that I didn't realize that the only difference in one actor's costumes was his shirt. It wasn't until he came out once and you could see the hem of one shirt peeking out from the other that I noticed the 2 characters had almost identical outfits. The physical acting was so strong, I didn't even notice until there was a slip up!

They made full use of multiple entrances throughout, especially for set changes. Often a character would set up or strike a set in character as part of the play. I like that convention of maintaining the illusion. There was a bit of breaking the fourth wall, and it was done in context. I have mixed feelings about this, so I am pleased it was worked nicely into the play without becoming dependent on audience participation.

I want to write more, but I am too nervous to give away anything. It was a real joy experiencing the twists and turns in the plot. You have every Friday and Saturday from now until August 14th to see for yourself. You can buy tickets online or at the door. I recommend purchasing online because Theater Schmeater only seats 49, an that fills up fast. They also keep a waiting list at the door, which I have had good luck with in the past.

Embarking on an adventure.

I posted my first personal ad. I am terribly nervous and excited.

The idea of putting something like this online for the whole world to see, to ignore or reply to, is daunting.

Squeeeeee!

There is a fun podcast series that I enjoy called Dr. Dick's Sex Advice. I first started hearing about it earlier this year from some friends of mine, so I did what everyone else does and followed their links to it and was charmed by his easy going manner and wit. Dr. Dick has a lovely interview style that reminds me of Bill Moyers in that he leads, steers and prods his guest gently so that the information and conversation flows beautifully.

So I got a note from him asking me if he could talk to me as part of his Sex Wisdom series. Me? Really?! That's so cool! After a few moments of fan-girl-ing out, I collect myself and gave him a call. I managed to not blurt out that he really doesn't want me on his show, as I didn't want to imply he had bad taste or anything in what/who he found interesting. It's more a matter that I am a bit concerned that I will not be up to the level of people he is used to working with and scared that I am not that interesting.

We had a lovely chat that culminated in how talking to people about anatomy in relation to their sex lives is something that doesn't come up near enough. Looks like we might have a topic! More details when they are finalized.

The story of my Injury.

I realized that in all the hubbub of reporting on the status of my healing toe, I have neglected to share how I came to be in this state.

Short of it:
I tripped and broke my pinky toe.

Long of it:
I was just trying to be safe. Really! I was suspending a dear friend of mine and was doing my very best to be safe. We had wrestling mats down and I had taken off my heels. After much frolicking, we got a little more serious and the movement become for aggressive on both our parts. I gave him a strong push. Stepping back to avoid his arms reaching for me as he sung back toward me, my foot caught my high heeled shoes. The baby toe on my right foot was pulled back and away from the midline.

The pain was awful. But then, stubbing your toe is always worse feeling than the damage you sustain. The pain persisted. I reached down to squeeze my toe, knowing that putting pressure on an area that is painful often settles the sensations down. I heard and felt a crunch that was immediately followed by more pain. At this point, we called the scene.

I motioned for his partner to come over and promptly sent her for and ice pack. In the mean time, I stood on one foot and untied my bottom. He's a rigger when he isn't being tied up by me, so he tried to help. I let him undo a few of the up lines, and insisted I could finish taking the rope off of him while we both sat. He fussed over my foot, that I was dutifully icing by this point, and I untied him and coiled my rope. It is quite important to me to have that resolving act. The swelling slowed, then began going down, giving cause for relief.

At first, because of the sound and movement upon grasping my toe, I assumed it was dislocated, put back in place and I was only dealing with a sprain injury. Not terrible, but an awful long recovery ahead of me. The fact it was the pinky toe made it not as big of a deal. I had an appointment with a chiropractor the next day already scheduled, so I asked his opinion about getting it x-rayed. His was the same as mine: if it's broken, the doctor will just tell me to tape it up. If it's sprained, they'll tell me tape it up. He handed me some tape and sent me on my way with the advice of keeping shoes on and walking was ok.

Well, walking was/is not ok. I was throwing my hips and low back out of alignment walking in such a fashion so as to not increase the pain in my toe. So I went and bought crutches. Now that got me around much faster, which makes up for the inconvenience. Shouldn't have gotten rid of the pair I had after the last foot injury a  year ago.

As the swelling has gone down, I realized that my toe was noticeably crooked. Ok, then I broke it. This is the first bone I have broken and I don't have a good story to go along with how I got it. The Mean Man says I can honest say that I have only broken one bone and I set it myself. That sounds pretty burly. I can roll with that. I'll just gloss over the fact that it was a toe and I tripped.