Bang was awesome!

Saturday night I attended Bang 4 the Buck, an AidsLifecycle fundraiser put on by Midori & Kelly B.  It was fantastic!  The energy was high, festive and supportive. There must have been 200 women in there, many of whom were brave enough to do a 2 minute striptease routine for charity.  There were a lot of really creative and theatrical acts so that I was rarely bored.

Stripping and burlesque aren't generally my cup of tea. let's face it, it' not like I am in suspense as to what is going to happen next.  "Oh, I wonder if she'll take her shirt off?"  That's why the theatrics were so enjoyable. They made it exciting to see how they were going to get undressed. I wondered how much would come off.  And you know what? A lot of them didn't even get fully nude, and those were the acts that were more interesting.  I'm a sucker for a story.

A fascinating moment in the evening came about when our beloved MC, Miss Indigo Blue, asked if there were any Mommies in the house.  After all, there was so much talk about Daddies. I was one of a tiny few who raised their hands.  She went on to tell the crowd about how she was talking about sexy, dirty mommies.  There still wasn't a whooping send up she disabused them of the notion that she was referring to the horrible American stereotype of the sexless mother figure.

How interesting that a community whose majority is comprised of lesbians would be so keen on being or having a Daddy, but not a Mommy.**

As a switch, I have a few different sides of me.  I am a girl who has a daddy.  I am a sadistic rope top who wants to cajole a bottom to strive in a difficult situation.  I am a masochist switch who doesn't follow power exchange protocols.  I also have what I call the "Mama Bear" persona that can come out when I am topping someone: protective, caring and fierce.  Not dissimilar to a daddy.  I don't think of myself as being a daddy primarily because I am a woman.  Mind you, I don't identify with the mother archetype often talked about in New Age or psychological circles.  Think of a wolf or a bear protecting her cubs; that's what kind of mommy I am.

When I was a young girl, between the ages of 9 until about 12, I wished so badly that I was a boy.  I dressed only in jeans with a short haircut and felt it was a victory anytime a stranger mistook me for a boy in public.  In the time when I was 13 and when I was 24 or so years old, I accepted my female-ness.  It took a while to get comfortable, but I did. When I was 25 or 26, I went to the library and got a bunch of books on how to use make-up and commenced learning how to be girly and pretty.   One day, I would love to learn how to style my hair more than just putting it in a braid.  One day.  Mark my words.

My point in sharing this information is that while I'm not terribly girly, I still don't have the inclination to think of myself as Daddy when I am topping.  Now, not all the people in the lesbian community who are into being a Daddy are transmen, or even gender-queer.  I know a very sweet, femme bisexual woman whose male & female partners call her Daddy.  What is it about the role of a daddy that attracts more genders and orientations than the mommy role?


**I am referring to the tops in the BDSM community who have a more caring brand of dominance, not the biological parental units.