Catharsis - Part 2

If you have a stomach for blood, check out Jim Duvall's photos of me with lots of blood in a bath tub. If you don't, they are a series of photos of me "using" a straight razor to cut my wrist, covering myself with blood and masturbating. (Good lord, I just wrote that, didn't I?)

There has been a lot of fussing and arguing and discussion about these photos. It has been wonderful seeing so many people talking about art that I helped make. The most fascinating part has been reading all the the motivations that have been assigned to the creators. I thought I would share my story behind my involvement in these photos and my part of the collaborative process.

I've been squeamish about blood, needles, hooks and cuttings ever since I found out people did that in their BDSM play. For being the kid who used to pick my scabs so I could suck the blood, and the menstruating woman who had no qualms about getting messy, it seems strange upon contemplation. I spent some time recently trying to figure out how blood play came to be something I was squicked by.

When I was 17, Planned Parenthood implemented HIV screening.  The receptionist really pushed me to check the boxes of risk factors I wasn't sure of, because "it's better to just say yes if you aren't 100% sure the answer is no." So, I had had blood drawn for the first time in my life to test me for a really scary disease no one knew a whole lot about except that it killed you. When you are nervous because something is new and scared this new thing will uncover terrible information, one is understandably going to make some associations. The nurse took two very small (5cc's or less) vials of blood and I exclaimed in panic "You're taking too much!"

Another correlation is that I had a hysterectomy before I got involved in the public BDSM scene so my relationship to blood had changed by the fact that I could no longer bleed for 5 days and survive. My opinion for the last 8 years has been that my blood should stay inside of me.

I've been poking at this fear of blood play a bit since I began dating Jim, mostly because he gets off on fear and I figure this is something I can give him that won't be psychologically damaging for me. I have  done needle play with him a handful of times. Literally, five times. I have done a hook pull. A dear friend who is fond of medical staples has had a go at me twice. Mind you, this is over a 5 year period. I was slowly edging into doing more with fantasies bubbling up of more intense blood related scenes. Mostly keeping them as fantasies.

And then I saw a scene that made it possible for me to grok bloodlust. I was out at Paradise and the lovely Lorelei and a play partner of her's set up in the middle of the field, him braced against a stone pillar and her dressed all in white, including stylish white sunglasses as eye protection. She began the scene using a chainmail flogger to "bring the blood to the surface" and just as it started to break his skin, she switched to piercing him with largish gauge needles. Now, he had done a bit of research and determined how he could decrease the clotting factors in his blood for the express purpose of having a bloodier scene. When Lorelei pulled the needles out of his back, the blood streamed down. She resumed flogging him and on every back swing, that chainmail flogger left more blood on her white outfit. The splattering was quite artful. Every few strokes, she would pause a moment, sometimes even pressing into him, making bloody marks on the front of her hips and breasts where she had hugged him.

I really understood the concept of blood lust watching that scene. The blood pouring out of those piercings was so full of life. The rich red colour was astoundingly beautiful. Passionate is the word that keeps coming to mind. The life force represented by his blood and the way she reveled in it was mesmerizing.

Yeah, I wanted to feel that direct connection with life force.

So, I boldly asked a friend if she would want to do some blood play with me, perhaps in the context of a photo shoot. If something is for art, it's always easier for me. She and Jim started talking about using his claw foot tub as the centerpiece. A date was set for her to draw my blood and the rest is history.

Now, I have had very little experience with suicide so it's not as an emotionally charged subject for me as it is for others. While I did do a tiny bit of cutting as a teenager, it wasn't something that I did with regularity or sincerity. For me, being in that bath tub with my own blood sprayed all over me, it was all about reveling in that life force. I was covered in blood red passion. Literally, blood red. The texture of the blood was enticing and sexy. The idea that I could touch the essence of life was overwhelmingly powerful. I became giddy during the shoot an it had everything to do with playing in that taboo substance.

When we filled the tub and the blood tinged the water, my experience changed. Bathing in life giving blood is profound. I was in a primordial womb of my own making. Emerging from that bath was like birthing myself. The fear I had once had about my blood being outside of my body seemed silly, now. Having your blood outside of your body didn't have to be traumatic and dangerous. Facing one's fears does not always yield the expected results. I certainly didn't think I would be so excited to do something like that again.

This account doesn't mean that all of those other thoughts and opinions about those photos aren't valid. Not in the least. Art means whatever it means to you. There is no right answer. Yes, the artist is often trying to communicate something. And it's ok if what you see in art is different than the artist intended. Really, that can't be helped. Good art gives you a chance to see something inside of yourself. It confronts your beliefs and feelings on any given subject, sometimes in a jarring way.

Help the Seattle Erotic Art Festival change the world!

We are delighted to announce the Festival's brand new Art Activist Society.

Together we can strengthen our community, support artists across the nation and world, and change the way people think about art, sex and sexuality.

Become a Society member for an annual gift of $250 or more, and receive special benefits while supporting the Festival's mission and long-term goals.

All Society members enjoy benefits like tickets to Festival events, VIP entry and rewards, a special members-only party, discounts to workshops, and more.

Higher membership levels receive benefits like discounts on art purchases from the Festival exhibition and Store, a piece of art from the Festival's private collection, an invitation for two to observe the jury process and attend the Artist Reception before the Festival, and so much more.

Learn about our membership levels and join the Society.

Be part of bringing the Festival to life, and making our 10th anniversary the best year yet.

This is a very exciting program. One of the reasons that I am part of the Seattle Erotic Art Festival is that I want to change the way our society perceives and relates to sexuality.  Art is an incredible way to educate and illustrate that all forms of sexuality have beauty and are valid forms of expression. Please join us in this mission.

Dojo of the Five Element Rope

Date & Time:	Sunday, December 11, 2011 ·11:00 AM – 3:30 PM
Location:	Center for Sex Positive Culture - Main Space 1602 15th Ave. W. Seattle, WA 98119   @ map
Cost:	Cost: $25 each or $40 for both
Dress code:	Loose clothing that you can move easily in and a piece of 6 mm hemp or jute rope that is approximately 20' long.
	Tantra arrived in Japan in the 8th century where it began an interweaving with traditional shamanic Shinto and the sublime Taoist magic of refugees arriving from the fallen Chinese Tang Dynasty. The intermingling of these deeply complimentary magical and spiritual practices of the Far East was unique and became known as Mikkyo. Mikkyo was later adapted advantageously into the foundations of many primordial Japanese military/sword cults. One particular style of bakujo called senyojo: battlefield rope arresting techniques - became a crucial tool for the safe and secure transport of valuable captured prisoners from the battle theater. Our bakujo arrest & capture/restraint applications are explored utilizing the foundations of Mikkyo (Tantric and Taoist Magical operations) to inform and balance the psyche and spirit of the practitioner under perilous 'battlefield' conditions. The practical side of this training offers a rough & tumble approach to classical Japanese rope restraint, whereas the esoteric side affords insights phenomenally intrinsic to the power-play between operator and receiver. 11am-1pm Class 1: demonstration, history, theory, energies, etiquette (reshiki) (No limit) 1:30pm-3:30pm Class 2: hands-on instruction and practice of basic techniques (te hodoki) (Limited to 20 participants.) Bret and Eric have been practitioners of this martial art for a collective 28 years. Though there are many branches of bakujo, senyojo was the branch most focused on by the bushi (samurai). The two main categories of senyojo they do are called hayanawa (fast rope) and shin no nawa (true/real rope). The instructors will provide rope for sale that is the proper length and type for bakujo. When: December 11, 2011 Where: CSPC Main Space Time: Part 1: 11am – 1pm Part 2: 1:30pm – 3:30pm This is a FSPC event. CSPC discounts do not apply RSVP required to WorkshopRSVP@sexpositiveculture.org – limited space available in second class

CSPC Annual Board Fundraiser

Soirée des Désirs: Featuring Jeff Gord and Twisted Monk

The Center and Foundation for Sex Positive Culture are proud to present the second annual fundraiser Soirée des Désirs, featuring captivating performances by Jeff Gord and Twisted Monk.
The first half of the night features Jeff of the incomparable House of Gord, using engineering skills, ingenuity, tight bondage, intense sensation, and beautiful women to create a kinky spectacle. This year Jeff’s performance will be uncensored: there will be penetration and partial nudity.
The second half of the night features the infamous performer, rope maker and bondage expert Twisted Monk Join him as he takes his unique brand of cabaret, bondage and twisted humor to new and erotic places through multiple, gravity defying suspension acts.
You don’t want to miss this sexy fundraiser. Come enjoy:

• two performances by fascinating figures in the community
• live and silent auction featuring a variety of enticing items
• sexy servers offering tasty hors d’oeuvres
• special giveaways
• full bar
• … and more!

21 + ONLY
We have an extremely limited number of $50 VIP tickets, which include:

• reserved seating right up front
• special attention from the performers
• sexy servers offering tasty treats just for VIPs, including a delicious dessert
• certificate for half off a Foundation workshop of your choice
• and a chance to win a special prize!

The next show I am attending: Embodied

Embodied
November 9th and 10th. 2011
8pm – 10pm
FRED Wildlife Refuge
127 Boylston St
Seattle, WA 98102

Embodied is a one-woman show illustrating a musical journey, and a rare public performance including much of my original music and distinctive cover songs. It depicts the sense of the personality fragmentation in youth, and the experience of slowly piecing ones self together to truly be a whole person. There will be live music, stunning visuals, palpable energy and an aerial performance. Anyone who enjoys being moved by the dark, melancholy, and profound will love this show.

Artist, performer, director and writer: Courtnee Papastathis (also as Zita the Aerialist)
Sound Engineering, back-up: Edgars Klepers
Visuals and Lights: Courtnee Papastathis and Miked Up Productions.


Tickets are $20 at Brown Paper Tickets and at the door, space permitting.

I'll be attending the Thursday showing. Anyone else interested in going that day and want to meet up?

Catharsis - Part 1

Disclaimer: All the photos and most of the links provided below are NSFW.

Background: When I talk about being raised by wolves, I am speaking both literally** and figuratively. The popular culture connotation of the metaphor is to denote someone who doesn't behave within normal social parameters due to their childhood. My father was a drug addict and dealer most of my childhood. Needless to say, that warps how you view and interact with the world.  I didn't realize that many events in my childhood were not normal until about 5 years ago when I broke the rule of secrecy. I was continually surprised that telling stories from when I was a kid that I think are funny and quirky often elicit shocked or horrified reactions. And let's not forget how difficult it is to have love relationships with men when your father stole from, neglected, and used you as a tool to abuse others.

Recent history: My father died in August. I talked to him 3 times in the 8 months before he died after not having contact with him for 13 years due to his continued drug use. He was still using and drinking up to the very end. It's why he died. Heart, liver & kidney failure at 56 is not surprising when you have been doing drugs for 35 years. Anyway, I got want I wanted which was an apology. Even though it was a bit empty, and there were so many lies in those conversations, it was something.

So, I fell apart. The one thing in my life that had been a constant source for knowing who I am and who I didn't want to be, was suddenly gone. The grief has been acute. I vacillate between feeling bereft and furious, and occasionally, they are simultaneous. His death has altered how I view my beloved step-father in an unexpected and lovely way. I feel like I can finally call him "dad" without insulting him. It has also cause me to fear that my partners who are "daddy" to me will leave since I don't need a replacement for a living, inadequate father figure. Abandonment feels imminent because the father not only chose to do drugs than maintain a relationship with the daughter, her died and left forever truly eliminating the possibility of a relationship forever.  Therefore, the daughter must not be worthy.

I got tired of flailing in my daily life. I am sure my partners and friends were on their way to being tired of it, even if they won't say so out loud.  Art seemed like the logical answer to exorcize these demon-fears. I already had a shoot scheduled with Jim Duvall and a friend who was going to draw my blood so we could do a series of "suicide in the bathtub" photos. I asked Jim if we could do something around drug addiction at the same time. It seemed  fitting with the use of the needles for the suicide photos. (I'll talk about those photos in the next post.)

A few days before the shoot, I was inspired to take one of my little sundresses and ruin it. I soaked it in mud puddles, ripped it up and spilled some of my drawn blood on it. I was going to look as underage as possible. This was about the death of that little girl whose life had been damaged by drug abuse. It isn't a literal depiction of what my childhood was like. The photo is cathartic, not autobiographical. 15 minutes before our medical technician friend was due to arrive for the shoot, I had a meltdown, complete with crying and yelling. Once we figured out the things I was freaking out on were not even remotely what I was mad about, we chose to still do the shoot. I wanted to work with the rawness I was feeling so I could use it up and get it out of me.

This is the result of that catharsis.

Jim, who rarely titles his art, is calling this piece "Her Father's Legacy".

I started crying when he told me. It hit the center of the bullseye of all my pain.

"Why did you call it that?"

"Because that pain was all that he left you."

"He didn't have anything else to give me."

As soon as those words left my mouth, I knew that was the truth. My father had never done the hard work of healing from his horribly abusive childhood. His drug use was a desperate attempt to cover up and run away from his pain. And in doing so, his wife and children paid dearly for the crime of just being in his vicinity. Of course there were good times mixed in there. And he wasn't doing the same single drug so there were periods where his drug of choice made his behaviour mild or genial. Those goo time made the bad times that much worse. Those good times taught us that he could be nice and good to us, he just chose not to all the time.

This photo is mufti-layered for me. Her addiction is wanting the love, approval and attention of her father and, like any addict, is willing to go through anything to get it. She's scared, sad, lost and defeated, and ashamed of the hope for something better ore more. But notice also that she is healthy looking, not thin or pale. She can take out the needle and walk away. She doesn't realize that she is whole and continues to look outside herself.

I also see what I think some of my father's pain was when I look at this photo. I can only imagine what pain he felt so acutely that he chose to self-medicate, numbing himself. I have seen the photos of him as a child, with a haunted look that no 8 year-olds should wear. His fear must have been great to continue avoiding his past, even when he slowly lost the involvement of his relatives in his life.

This photo is a reminder that not everything in life is pretty. And there is ugliness in all of our lives, and we don't have to wallow in it. We can take the needle out of arm and reach up for that light coming in from the window.


**My father also had a penchant for owning wolves and wolf hybrid dogs. The one he had the longest, was a female who considered herself the alpha female of the pack, e.g. our family. My brother and I were treated like cubs, and corrected by the wolf as such. My father viewed us getting bit to mean we had obviously done something wrong and we deserved it. So, I have some weird ways regarding how I interact with people that relate directly to wolf pack hierarchy.

What I am doing tonight:

Seattle Erotic Art Festival Presents: Christopher Ryan of "Sex at Dawn"

Enjoy a lively discussion of this New York Times bestseller!

date:	Tuesday, October 25, 2011
time:	06:00 PM to 08:00 PM
where:	MOHAI (Museum of History and Industry)
address:	2700 24th Ave. E. (In the Auditorium, lower level)  map

cost:

$10

Seattle Erotic Art Festival is delighted to present an intimate evening with Christopher Ryan, co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality.

This award winning New York Times bestseller reexamines much of what we think we know about sex.
Newsweek states it’s: “Funny, witty, and light . . . the book is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.”

Seattle’s Dan Savage says it’s: “The single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.”
Ryan will provide an engaging presentation followed by questions and conversation. Books will be available for purchase and Ryan will be signing copies.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

18+ only

This event is part of Arts Crush

The Seattle Erotic Art Festival is proud to participate in Arts Crush, a month-long King County festival featuring hundreds of events across the region, happening throughout October.
This is one of many sexy events we're putting on for Arts Crush, most of which are FREE -- learn more and save the dates!

A Halloween Party to Support SEAF 2012

I am very excited about Seduction, the Seattle Erotic Art Festival's First Halloween party!

Not only have I had a blast picking out the art for the showcase, but Jim Duvall and I were asked to do a variation on our Bondage Aerial performance with an extra treat. Our performance slot is 8:30pm to 9:15pm.

Seduction, Seattle’s Sexiest Halloween Party, is this Saturday!

See and be seen at this alluring night of amazing music and dancing, hand-picked erotic art, hot performances, full bar and absinthe bar, and of course lots of delicious eye-candy. Plus a costume contest with over $1,000 in sexy prizes.

With three gorgeous rooms of music and dancing and over a dozen of Seattle’s top DJs -- including Michael Manahan (Decibel, Starborne), Riz Rollins (KEXP), and Hendrik (Church of Bass, Chillography) -- Seduction is the place to celebrate your Halloween.

THIS SATURDAY, October 29, 8pm to 2am
At the lush Fremont Studios
21+ only

Tickets are on sale now and selling fast.
Purchase your tickets today.

Advance ticket sales end Friday at 11pm. Tickets will be available at the door starting at 8pm, while supplies last.

Lots more details about Seduction are available at SeattleErotic.org.

Moving into Understanding

Kinesthetic Polyamoury with Jim Duvall & Sophia Sky

 Thu, October 6, 7pm – 9pm

 Center for Sex Positive Culture - Annex 

1608 15th Ave. W. Seattle, WA 98119

  $20 per person and $10 for each partner you bring with you. 

Knowing something in our heads often isn't a complete understanding. Knowing something "in your gut" often gives a deeper understanding. Using physical activities, this class explores the various polyamourous relationship configurations and inspires understanding, empathy and compersion for your partners. Techniques adapted from Tai Chi, Contact Dance and Systems based Psychology will give you the opportunity to learn more about your unique relationship dynamic. Attending with your current partners is recommended and not required to benefit from this workshop. This class is designed for singles, partners, leather families. Please come prepared to participate in movement based techniques and a discussion about your experiences. (This is a fully accessible class.) 

I am very excited about this class. It's quite a departure for me in relation to my other classes. This is more about body and heart than head. (If you haven't noticed, I am mostly a head person.) 

This class came out of an experience that GrayDancer had doing a Tai Chi exercise, that is normally done between 2 people, with 2 people at the same time. He experienced it as a metaphor for polyamoury. He has graciously given his blessing to our ideas to expand this idea of internalizing concepts and gaining empathy on a kinesthetic level. 

I hope you'll join us!

Come and see me perform for Arts Crush!

Jim Duvall & I will be doing a rope bondage performance while David Jones recites his potent poetry.

What:      Dangerous Liaisons featuring The Libertine Ball

Time:       Friday, October 14 at 8:00pm - October 15 at 12:00am

Location: The Mix
              6006 12th Ave. S
              Seattle, WA

More Info:
Step back in time into a sensual world of scandal, love, danger, and
intrigue based on the once-banned novel from 18th century Paris. An
interactive show like no other will dazzle your senses throughout an
enchanting evening of poetry, theatre, music, dance and visual art put
on by Seattle's own Floating Mountain Poets. As the season of masquerade

approaches, come dressed to impress for the costumed Libertine Ball
where fantasy and fetish conquer moral restraint in an artistic
palette of physical pleasures, experienced through the five senses.

Doors at 7:30 pm. Show starts at 8 pm.

Tickets $15 at https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/192844

$10 Tickets at the door if you come in costume!

I'll fly away!

I love to sing. Back when I was involved with the Little Red Studio, there were a few skits I organized where we formed a choir and sang. Those are still my favourite experiences of all 8 years at the Studio.

I miss the Studio. Something fierce. I miss being surrounded by so many artists of so many flavours. I miss the collaborations. I miss learning new skills. Hell, I even miss wrangling said artists when I was the director. All that can be summed up: I miss being caught up in the creative energy of a vibrant arts community.

So, I am going to go find myself a choir to sing in. I love singing. I'm not great at it so perhaps I'll sign up at one of the local community colleges so I can get a wee bit of coaching. I don't want to become a professional. I do want to perform, but only for the joy of sharing music. I just want to sing. With lots of other people. (If I didn't have to sit through a church service, I would rather join a church choir because they have the best songs.)

Maybe I could gather up all the people who joined voices with me at LRS for a reunion choir to sing "I'll Fly Away".

Summer classes!

I have a fair number of workshops that I am teaching this summer. One is tonight. I know, I'm a slacker about this whole promotion thing sometimes. I got caught up researching the 5 senses again, and of course I found new information. Jim and I are in a low level battle about how much geeky info I get to include in the workshop.

Here's the current line up and I hope to see you tonight!  

Below are the full class descriptions. Please feel free to email me any questions you may have about the classes. Thank you for your interest in learning more about the body so you can have more fun with it!

Using All the Senses in Play, co-taught with Jim Duvall - TONIGHT 7/21 at the CSPC! Doors open at 6:30pm, 7pm start.

Paradise Unbound 2011 - August 9th through 14th. I'll be teaching Triage for Pick-up Play with Jim on Wednesday the 10th, 3-4:30pm and Floating Bliss for Partners on Thursday the 11th, 1-2:30pm.

Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza - Agust 19th - 21st. I'll be organizing this event and since attendance means that you are participating in knowledge sharing, I am counting this as a teaching event for me. I have some ideas about analyzing/assessing/adapting physical limitations that don't work well as classes, but will probably work great in an open space situation like an un-conference.

Libido Events in Vancouver, BC on August 27th will host 2 classes Anatomy for Impact Play and Anatomy for Edge Play with the Head & Neck. Details such as times are still to be determined.

Using the Senses in Play with Sophia Sky & Jim Duvall
CSPC, in the Annex. 1608 15th Ave. W. Seattle, WA 98119
Cost: $20. per person
Time: 7:00-9:00pm (Doors open at 6:30pm)

Sensation play is often thought of as gentle or introductory play with blindfolds and bunny floggers. Utilizing all 5 senses can enhance any type, level or intensity of play and gives a richer texture to any scene. Knowing the anatomy and physiology of all the structures associated with touch, taste, smell, sight and sound will give you an advantage when selecting which senses to down play or sharpen in keeping with the goal of your scene. From setting the space through after care, tops & bottoms will learn via demos, lecture and exploration numerous ways to increase the depth of their play by manipulating sensory input.

Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza
A GRUE is an un-conference - a gathering that is participant driven and self-organizing. Rather than impose an outside agenda on the attendees, the schedule is generated through a fast-moving group exercise facilitated by Gray. The group creates a day filled with a variety of subjects, some of which deal with rope and some of which stretch far beyond. Gender theory? Power dynamics? Scene design? STD awareness? Kinky spirituality? Cyber-security for perverts? All of these topics and many more have been covered in past GRUEs.
The one thing that every topic has in common - whether presentations, discussions, hands-on skillshares or laughing explorations into new territory- is passion. Everything that happens at a GRUE is something that an attendee is passionate about. The day is filled with energy, open exploration, unexpected connections, realizations, and discoveries. Like a structured contact improv dance, working within a proven framework every GRUE is different, beautiful, and unique to the needs and abilities of the people there.  
Learn more at the GRUE site.
Be prepared to be surprised. As over two dozen other GRUEs in the U.S. and Canada have proven, the unconference and kink go hand in hand to create something amazing.
The Seattle GRUE will be donating a portion of the profits of this event to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and another portion to support independent sex-positive community educators.

Cost: $80 in advance ( http://center.ticketleap.com/grue/ ) or $95 at the door
Schedule:
Friday August 19th, 7-10pm or so: Meet-and-Greet. Location TBA
Saturday August 20th: 9:30am - 6pm GRUE! at the CSPC, Main Space. (Doors open at 8:30am and close promptly at 10am. Lunch is provided on site.)
Saturday Night, 9pm-2am: 2 Play Parties at CSPC, included in GRUE price. (Non-members must fill out consent forms.)
Sunday Morning: 10am-whenever: GRUE pancake brunch at the CSPC, Annex.

Triage for Pick-up Play

Or, how to negotiate & have a successful scene with someone you just met. We will teach you negotiation shortcuts to get you out into the play space faster; how to pick up on body language cues; and physical assessment skills to determine the right scene for 2 strangers to engage in. Basic communication skills will be demonstrated and practiced. Please come prepared to participate in verbal class exercises with strangers.

Floating Bliss for Partners

Learn how to float your partner(s) into bliss!  Being held is a powerful act for all involved that fosters connection, emotional catharsis and relaxation. This techniques incorporates full body skin contact, slow movements and gentle stretching to relax, comfort and bring serenity to your partner and yourself. Learn how to cultivate connection through breathwork and body positioning in an aquatic environment. We will be in the warm pool for the majority of the time. No swimming skills are necessary to be floated. Nudity is encouraged. Due to full body contact, I suggest you attend this class with someone you are familiar with or someone you are comfortable being held by.

The Anatomy of Impact Play

Or, “How to whack on every possible surface of the human body without ending up in the ER.”  As a massage therapist and anatomy geek, Sophia will share her knowledge of the human body and all the various types of impact it is capable of withstanding.

In this class, we will cover:

-the basics of human anatomy

-the inflammatory process

-how various body parts respond to impact

-what can be hit, and what should be avoided

-how to judge how hard you can hit any particular area

-demonstrations with various implements and toys

Please come prepared to engage in discussion, participate in demos and don’t forget to bring your questions. Intended for tops, switches and bottoms of all skill levels, genders and orientations.

Anatomy for Edge Play with the Head and Neck

Our faces and throats are usually the first part of our body that we try to protect. Edgier forms of play such as face slapping and choking gain much of their charge from the psychological aspect of man-handling such a delicate part of the body. Understanding the nature and location of the intricate structures of the head and neck can make your play more enjoyable, whether you are pulling hair or doing breath play.  The knowledge of where these structure are and how to find them will inform your skills so that you can more effectively and safely engage in these activities. 

This class will include lecture and demos that incorporate participation with plenty of time to get your anatomy questions answered.

Wear clothing with a loose neckline.

A great event for Queer Youth

Born This Way Kafé
Fridays 5 to 9 p.m. 
ALL Queer Youth

Ages 13 - 19
Free!

Born This Way Kafé: a welcoming place where GLBTQ youth + Friends + Allies can gather, be themselves, and have fun.

Cal Anderson Park Shelterhouse
1635 Eleventh Avenue on Capitol Hill
Just east of Pine and Broadway
Metro Routes 9, 10, 11, 12, 43, 49, 60, 84

4 info or 2 help make it happen:
Randy @ Seattle Parks
206.883.6110 txt/phn
randy.wiger@seattle.gov
Google "SeattleParksCOD" for Facebook

a POWER of PLACE  (tm)  program
Seattle Parks and Recreation
Shelterhouse occupancy capacity: 44

Reducing the Risk of Brain Damage During Faceslapping

In my recent class on the "Anatomy of Impact Play" someone asked how one could minimize the possibility of sloshing someone's brains around in their head's via slapping the face. I said there really wasn't and there was some back and forth about supporting the head/neck vs. no or little support and how that affected the amount of sloshing inside the head.

After talking with a few people with experience with mild brain injuries, I learned that the more stable the head, the less sloshing of the brain upon impact, then the less that delicate grey matter gets banged up. The amount of force transmitted through the head when the head/neck are firmly supported is much less than the force on the brain banging against the inside of the skull from the head whipping around and stopping fast.

End result: firmly supporting the head and neck not only decreases the possibility of injury to the jaw and neck during face-slapping, it also decreases the trauma to the brain.

There is still risk of damage, mind you. Have fun and be as safe as you can.

Next Class is July 21st!

Using the Senses in Play - Sophia Sky & Jim Duvall

Location: CSPC, in the Annex

Cost: $20

Time: 7pm - 9pm (doors open at 6:30pm)

FSPC Workshop - CSPC discounts do not apply

Non-members welcome.

Sensation play is often thought of as gentle or introductory play with blindfolds and bunny floggers. Utilizing all 5 senses can enhance any type, level or intensity of play and gives a richer texture to any scene. Knowing the anatomy and physiology of all the structures associated with touch, taste, smell, sight and sound will give you an advantage when selecting which senses to down play or sharpen in keeping with the goal of your scene.  From setting the space through after care, tops & bottoms will learn via demos, lecture and exploration numerous ways to increase the depth of their play by manipulating sensory input.  

So, I really like this class. I love teaching with Jim, it’s a whole lot of fun blending our strengths. Add in the geekery possible with this subject and the amount of fun and fascinating information is staggering! Aside from all the anatomy and physiological goodness, this class focuses on setting, maintaining, propelling and concluding a scene. An experience that engages all of our special senses is often more powerful in the moment and as a memory. We will make small forays into conditioning responses and manipulating mood, of the space and the people within it. 

This class is intended for all skill levels and play interests of tops and bottoms and most of all, those not into any power exchange.  If you have any questions about the class, please feel free to email me or message me on FetLife.

Here is the link to the FetLife Event page so you can see who is going and let me know you are going.

Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza Comes to the Suspension Capital of the World!

Seattle GRUE

	Friday, August 19, 2011 06:00 PM
	Sunday, August 21, 2011 01:00 PM
	Center for Sex Positive Culture

Tickets -	$80 per person

A GRUE is an un-conference - a gathering that is participant driven and self-organizing. Rather than impose an outside agenda on the attendees, the schedule is generated through a fast-moving group exercise facilitated by Gray. The group creates a day filled with a variety of subjects, some of which deal with rope and some of which stretch far beyond. Gender theory? Power dynamics? Scene design? STD awareness? Kinky spirituality? Cyber-security for perverts? All of these and many more have been covered in past GRUEs.
The one thing that every topic has in common - whether presentations, discussions, hands-on skillshares or laughing explorations into new territory- is passion. Everything that happens at a GRUE is something that an attendee is passionate about. The day is filled with energy, open exploration, unexpected connections, realizations, and discoveries. Like a structured contact improv dance, working within a proven framework every GRUE is different, beautiful, and unique to the needs and abilities of the people there.

Be prepared to be surprised. As over two dozen other GRUEs in the U.S. and Canada have proven, the unconference and kink go hand in hand to create something amazing.

The Seattle GRUE will be donating a portion of the profits of this event to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and another portion to support independent sex-positive community educators.

Schedule:
Friday August 19th, 7-10pm or so: Meet-and-Greet. Location TBA
Saturday August 20th, 9:30am-6pm: GRUE! at the CSPC, Main Space.( Lunch is provided on site.)
Saturday Night, 9pm-2am: 2 Play Parties at CSPC, included in GRUE price. (Non-members must fill out consent forms.)
Sunday Morning: 10am-whenever: GRUE pancake brunch at the CSPC, Annex.
Register here: http://center.ticketleap.com/grue

Crashed

So I stopped writing in here for a while due to not having much to say beyond my 140 character tweets. So much going on in my life right now is privately tumultuous. Add all that on top of needing to recover from the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, too.

I'm starting to come out of the depths.

"For consent to count...ASSENT has to matter."

I am not generally of a mind to re-publish the writing of another person in this journal. However, I recently read an essay on FetLife that made me say, "Yes, that is what I have been trying to say for years!"

Below is a FetLife Journal Entry by SherynB titled Assent Matters, posted July 6th, 2011.  All emphasis are by SherynB, copied exactly from her journal entry. She has given me permission to repost this and encourages reposting with attribution and a link back to the original post. Please respect her copyright and wishes if you would like to republish this essay.

Assent Matters by SherynB

Okay, there's a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I'm done pretending it's not there. What we do isn't pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it's dangerous if we can't get (and stay) honest about the reality of it. So here it is as raw and real and un-PC as it is:

There is a cult of victimhood building in the scene. It's being cultivated and nurtured in the name of something I don't believe the originators ever intended their catchy phrase to stand for. Its endgame is dangerous for everybody involved, physically, emotionally, socially, and legally...and it's going to harm us all if it isn't nipped in the bud, right fucking now.

For consent to count...ASSENT has to matter.

What we do is VOLUNTARY. It's not assault, battery or rape in any moral sense of the word, regardless of what the laws that were meant to protect people against involuntary harm actually say. We have message boards, clubs, businesses, parties and social groups where people come and ask, sometimes beg and plead, for others to hit, kick, scratch, burn, shock, bleed, humiliate, degrade, subjugate, frighten, outrage, piss on, piss off, and/or make them cry. Not because they are helpless victims, but because it sexually gratifies them to participate in those things. And there are people who agree to do it...want to do it...love to do all of those Terrible Horrible Very Nasty Things. Not because they are predatory assholes, but because it sexually gratifies them, too. And every one of those reputable organizations, and the ones that exist to protect them, insist on two things above all others: You must be an adult. You must be consenting.

And that applies to BOTH (or all) of you, dammit.

We can pretend whatever we want to in the confines of that emotional, theatrical, energetic bubble that is our "scene", whether it's for an hour or most of our 24/7 life. But the reality of the situation is that we are free, sentient, competent adults with a responsibility to take care of OURSELVES. If you're not, get out of the pool. Go home. You're not old enough or competent enough to play here. The roller coaster might look like fun, and it is, but if you aren't tall enough to ride this ride, nobody wants you on it...because when you fall out and get harmed, it not only hurts you, it closes down the ride for the rest of us.

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here." It took far too long. I waited longer than I should have. I said nothing at first because I respected the poster. Then because it was Sexual Assault Awareness month. Then because I was busy. And finally realized, I just didn't really want to be the lightening rod for the reflexive push-back that would follow, when I called bullshit on the parts of it that were batshit Pollyanna craziness. But hey, there's more than one way people can get hurt in this game, and somebody has to stand up. I've been on both sides of this ride, and I'm out of patience with the silence, so today, it's me:

Being a top in this game is dangerous. Publicly, privately, with new partners or old. Being the one who does the Terrible Horrible Very Bad Things puts you in an untenable position that you cannot defend legally or morally no matter how many times they asked you to do it. As soon as somebody says "Oh, I changed my mind, I didn't want that after all," you are the one facing accusations of rape, boundary violations, incompetence, or predatory behavior. And it doesn't matter how careful you were, or how ethical you were, or how well you think you negotiated. You stay in this game for more than a couple years, you're gonna live through it whether you want to or not. Ask the biggest, baddest, kindest, most skilled, reputable and ethical tops of either gender that you know. Every single one of them has a story. Or two or three.

There are predators and crazies of all genders and every BDSM persuasion in this game. And yes, those poor tender delicate flowers of submission, slavery and painsluttery are more often than anybody talks about...dangerous, and occasionally, actually predatory. Some are crazy. Some are just uneducated or immature. But the thing the dangerous ones have in common sounds a lot like this:

"I didn't tell you, and you didn't know, and I didn't say anything while it was happening, but what you did I didn't want, and you should have known that, even though I was saying you could, because well...it's your responsibility to know better than I do what I want. And besides...I was in subspace/headspace/dissociated/whatever the fuck...and wasn't in my right mind when I said you could. So...I didn't really consent to that."

I can't say this clearly enough:

If you go to a place when you play that makes you incompetent to give or revoke consent, you have a disability that makes you a danger to yourself and to the people you play with. And if you're going to play this game AT ALL, you have a responsibility to choose your partners VERY carefully, disclose that problem UP FRONT, and negotiate truthfully, intelligently and with major self-awareness around it.

Because I've got news for those of you that think that "bottoms" can't do or consent to this or that or the other inside of a scene...a whole fucking bunch of us can. And do. And those of you that can't or won't, and still ask for pick-up play with people you barely know, are the worst nightmare of every top on the planet. Especially if your version of negotiation sounds a lot like "oh, um...you're hot...and I've heard good things about you...and oh, um...you know...whatever you want to do, I guess. I like [whatever it is that you do]."

Whether or not you want to live in that fantasy for yourself...or yell at me for calling you on it...keep this in mind: If you sell the notion that bottoming takes everybody to a place where consent is impossible...then ALL the work being done to make what we do legal and defensible and give us CHOICE is for naught. If we aren't competent to consent or withdraw consent once play starts, then everything we do will always be criminal, for our own protection. You can't have it both ways.

I know a couple that speak, teach and demonstrate some of the heaviest fear, humiliation & taboo play out there...they play deep in emotion all the time...and every time I've heard them speak or seen anything they've written for the last several years, I hear the bottom in that couple pleading for people to hear and understand: TOPS ARE NOT MINDREADERS. Her husband nods. But she's so frustrated you can almost hear her scream. It's a cry in the darkness I hear over and over, from tops, and from their partners, of either persuasion, and a whole bunch of bottoms who gag at being lumped in that "helpless subbie victim" category. Most of us are good with body language, with nuances of energy and emotion...some aren't. But NONE of us are mind-readers. And when you tell us things are good, when you ask for what you want, when you use words that are understandable and in plain English, and then tell us later that's not what you MEANT and we were supposed to KNOW that...we are helpless to respond. Because it's NOT RATIONAL.

Physical and emotional landmines happen. Endorphins and adrenaline allow things that the rational mind isn't comfortable with. We ALL wake up the next day sometimes thinking "What the FUCK was I thinking when I did/allowed/asked for that??" Or with more marks or bruises or embarrassment or physical or emotional hurt than we wanted, for ourselves or our partners. Sometimes it takes months to untangle whatever knots we surfaced. Sometimes we trigger stuff that needs therapy, or even medical treatment. Sometimes we do it on purpose, sometimes we don't. Shit happens, and often it's nobody's fault...unless you knew that shit was there, and didn't disclose it.

But when you wake up the next day and think to yourself: "Wow. I'm not comfortable with how far that went." Ask yourself what you actually did or said. Ask your partner what you did or said. Ask bystanders what you did or said. And own your part in it. Because whatever you were thinking...if you actually held the conversation and all the responses entirely in your head...you can't hold someone else responsible for what you didn't say or do here on the planet where the rest of us are. And if you couldn't possibly have predicted the outcome, how rational is it for you to expect that your partner should have?

Safewords exist for a reason. Plain English exists for a reason. All those classes on negotiation exist for a reason. Read the book The Gift of Fear (Gavin de Becker) and learn not just what a real predator looks like...but where YOUR responsibility to recognize the obvious signs and protect yourself begins. Find your emotional power to recognize and say "no" to what you don't want BEFORE you get naked and tied up and give up your actual physical power to walk away to anybody. And if you find, after the fact, that you don't have a voice in that situation...get one. Therapy and education and finding your own power will serve you far better in this life than setting yourself up for perpetual victimhood again and again, and wondering why it keeps happening to YOU.

Because your consent DOES count. And when you give it...you have a responsibility to give it honestly, and to expect to be taken at your word. And when you withdraw it, which you have a perfect right to do at any time, you have responsibility to communicate it clearly, and to act on it. Anything else puts you and everybody you play with at risk. Once you've done THAT, there's no excuse and no apology for anybody violating it. But until you do...it's magical and dangerous thinking to believe that someone else is going to "know" what you want, and do it, despite what you say or don't say. In fact, somebody who would discount your communication that way, is far more dangerous than someone who takes you at your word, as a competent, sentient adult, who has decided for yourself that you're big enough to be on this strange and wonderful ride.

Now somebody get that gorilla a banana. We've been ignoring it for far too long.

Naked Truth

Remember when I wrote about doing the photo shoot for the Naked Truth installation that will be featured at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival?

The photographer, Jim Wilkinson, has put up a teaser on his blog that includes me and the ever lovely, Allena.

Memory Lane

I found a bunch of old CDs of music from my childhood and added them to my itunes. That got me thinking about what a big role music played in my formative years. I really do believe that music is food for the soul. It stirs the emotions and inspires our bodies to movement. Music communicates so purely. When words would just mess something up, you can trust music to carry the message.

Growing up, there was always music playing in our house. All kinds and styles of music. My Nana had been a concert pianist as a young woman in England before World War II. She would always accede to my requests for ragtime style songs. I think I liked the stories of her stealing the sheet music from her older sisters after her father decreed she was too young to listen to/play think kind of music more than the songs themselves.

My mama would dance around while folding laundry or sing in the car. Simon & Garfunkle, Fleetwood Mac, all the songs from "The Sound of Music" and the Eagles were her favourites. She and I were good at quickly memorizing lyrics and often sang a Capella. We didn't need no stinking radio to sing along with!

My father had bizarre, eclectic tastes. I remember once being in the record store waiting for what seemed like forever while he choose which Beethoven recording he wanted to buy along with the newest AC/DC album. He would buy a whole album for one song and not complain at all that the other songs weren't to his liking. Where my mama put on a record and listened to the whole thing, he played DJ, often sprinting across the room at the tail end of a song so he would pick up the needle and jump to another track on the record.

What a trail of memories listening to "Soul of the Sea" by Heart started.

Being a part of art.

One of my greatest joys is helping an artist bring their vision to life. I, and the five other models in the Newton's Cradle, got the sweetest email from the artist, Jim Duvall.

I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of a great piece of art. and let you know some of the reception it has gotten so far.

It has already been awarded the. following accolades, Deviant Art Daily Deviation. If you are not a member you will not see the image but you can read the comments. There are over 400. The fun ones are when we all get called Nazis 2-3 pages down. It is already ranked in the top 150 fetish images of all time there in only a week.

 Model Mayhem Picture of the day.

Model insider Picture of the day.

Besides getting a enormous amount of comments on FetLife.

So a very heartfelt thank you to you all. I could not have done this without you.

You can see this piece of art, and purchase it at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival May 20th through 22nd.

Pssst! If you love art, you can volunteer to be an Art Guide and share knowledge about the various art that was juried and invited into the exhibition.

Call for Volunteers, and Big Volunteer Meeting 4/23!

Want to join the fun of putting on Seattle's sexiest event? Volunteer for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival! We have lots of volunteer opportunities, so peruse the list and write volunteer@seattleerotic.org to find the right job for you.

We especially need help distributing postcards, and need assistance with our stage crew (are you a Technical Director or a builder who can help with sets? A board/spotlight operator? We need stage hands, production assistants and more!)

If you aren't quite sure what you want to do, join us on Saturday, April 23 for the Big Volunteer Meeting. This is an important meeting for all volunteers, and a great chance for those of you who want to learn more and get involved.

Please spread the word and recruit your friends!

...After the Festival.

Now is the time of year when that is the most common thing I say. Usually that is uttered after something I would dearly love to do, such as have dinner with friends, go out of town or any other number of things that will just have to wait until after the Festival is over.

One thing I have decided not to put off until after the Festival is teaching. On Thursday the 21st I will be teaching my Palpation for Rope Play class in the Annex of the Center for Sex Positive Culture. Doors will open at 7pm and the class will start at 7:30 and go until 9:30pm. The class is $20.

I'll post more about the class when I have just a little more time. :-)

How was your last Saturday night?

Thank You for Attending the Red Hot Launch Party

 

Big thanks to all the sexy people who attended Saturday's Red Hot Launch Party. Nearly 1,000 of you joined us to celebrate. Check out the smokin' pictures! Oo la la!     Did you enjoy yourself? Please complete our brief survey and let us know what you thought. It's quick and easy, and we greatly appreciate your feedback.

Help us Launch the Seattle Erotic Art Festival!

The Seattle Erotic Art Festival's RED HOT LAUNCH PARTY is just around the corner on Saturday, April 2. *Hundreds of tickets* have sold so far.
Are you joining the party?

Check out our top-notch DJs and sexy performers (and view some tantalizing pics!). Get excited about the awesome new venue with a big dance floor, two full cash bars and even a stripper pole.

Launch Party tickets are going fast, so get yours today and make sure you can attend!
$10 advance / $12 door
Full cash bar - 21+ only

Bring your friends, bring your date(s) -- you don't want to miss this!